Who's Responsible?

I recently heard a statistic that certainly concerns me as a pastor. But, to be honest, it scares me as a parent. Brace yourself.

When children reach 18 and leave home, more than 80% leave an active Christian faith.

Ever since our sons took their first breaths, we’ve understood that God expected Lisa and me to help Jordan and Quinn “grow in wisdom (mentally), in stature (physically), in favor with God (spiritually), and other people (socially).” It’s the model of Mary and Joseph, Jesus’ parents (Luke 2:52).

We chose Jesus’ parents as role models, not because we perceive Jordan or Quinn to be messianic gifts to the world, but because we believe each boy is primarily God’s son, given specifically to us to raise for His glory and the earthly good of others.

So please, get my point: It is every parent’s responsibility to steward the holistic growth of his/her children.

With every advancing year, I am grateful to parents who didn’t discount their influence on me nor shirk their God-given responsibility to be the most influential people in my holistic growth. It was in the home of Paul and Barbara Fetters that I learned what it looked like for a Christian to respect authority, to develop a productive work ethic, to relate respectfully with girls/women, to live with personal integrity, to relate with God.

While the local church was an important part of their strategy, they knew it was their responsibility to introduce their three sons to Jesus, help us investigate the teachings and claims of Christ through the scriptures, integrate those teachings into lifestyles that reflect the character of Christ, and intercede for us every day. What I learned and received every week from the church’s preachers, Sundays school teachers, and ministry workers was simply a reinforcement of what I was learning everyday in the House of Paul and Barbara.

Deep within my heart resides an earnest prayer that every child of Christian parents will grow to be a spiritual giant because of the direct investments of his or her father and/or mother. Our church, Devonshire, is committed to assisting parents lead their sons and daughters to love Jesus and reflect His character in every one of their social venues. That means we can help parents. We can supplement what parents are personal living and teaching. But in just one or two short hours per week, a church cannot replace a mom or dad's influence nor assume their responsibilities. Simply put, the scriptures are clear—every parent is responsible for the holistic (which includes spiritual) development of their children.

My gut and my experience suggest that the above statistic is accurate. However, the statistic does not mean that our sons and daughters have to give up an active faith. With your living example and tireless attention to your child's complete growth, I imagine with great enthusiasm that God will raise up a new generation of missionaries, pastors, doctors, nurses, teachers, musicians, actors/actresses, lawyers, public servants, actors, and business entrepreneurs who know Jesus and live for Him every day.

If you are a parent or a grandparent, won’t you join me in my prayer for your children? It’s actually my prayer for you to actively seek God’s best for those you love!